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| All righty peoples. It's been a while since I really used this thinger majig. I figure its time to shut it down. Eamil me yer goodbyes and have a great time.
Campbell | | |
| Well ladies and gents, it's that time of the year where its right before my birthday and my world is crumbling. The wonderful part of it is that I have been blessed not to suffer alone. I might not have any outside friends, but I still have my bestfriend Montrell. He's still my boyfriend but he's still my bestfriend. And so when my credit card was stolen and my lunch card is missing, when my clothes don't fit and I feel fat, when I'm stretched too thin and working hard on exams, when I'm at a lost for it all, Montrell Ware is right there to hold my hand and wipe me tears and I appreiciate him. This won't be the best birthday in the world, but it will certainly be one worth having. 2006 has been a good year and I have prospered. | | |
| You ever been in a situation where you wished that you cared? It is kind of funny how things play out, right. A couple of months ago I met a few new "friends" here on campus. One in particuluar really got my goat. Well recently, we've had several moments of arguing and disagreement. The last time I argued with this person I let it all go. Almost the same way I did for Steve when we separated. It really really hurt me. I must have cried my eyes out because I really didn't want to lose a friend. But more importantly I realized three things about myself. I'm beautiful, I'm smart, and most of the time, someone will need me a lot sooner than I'll need them. The question comes to mind "What have you done for me lately." You don't pay my bills, in fact you create them, you don't help me with homework, I help you with yours, you aren't a star attraction, in fact you are like a star repulsion, and moreover, you could give a fuck less about how I feel and what I want. I'm tired of being berated and mistreated, ignored, and rejected for being who I am. I learned my lesson a long time ago. If someone loves you enough to change you then they don't really love you at all. So I'm coming out with it. If you are just another person with your hand in the pot and reaching in my pocket then get the hell on. I can do bad all by myself, I don't need someone else giving me trouble heartache and grief. It's just not worth my time anymore.
Love me or Hate me, You'll still never be me
~Hopeful~ | | |
| I don't think anyone reads this, so I assume its safe to post here. To make it really short, I hate college and I probably will for the next few years. I think I'm just incompatiable with going through challenging times in my life. My world is all fluffed out and that's the way I like it. Nothing about me will change anytime too soon. I guess that Steve was right about me in some sense. I'm not someone who will ever fit into the groove. I won't be one of those people who picks it up and trys again and again. I'm a trail blazer and if you love me, I love you too.... and if you hate me, blow it out and move along because in life that's all we can do. 2006 is my year and I'm going to make the best of it. Sure, I might not know exactly every step to take or everything to do or say, but if I worry about it too much, I'll never figure it out. Besides, I am who I am and there's nothing that can be done about it.
Love me, Hate me
~Hopeful~ | | |
| So I finally got a job and it's totally crappy. I mean I run parts for eight hours a day atleast. Mostly I don't sit down and I have to deal with a bunch of horn dogs. There are a couple of good things, like some of my coworkers. On ocassion I have a laugh or two. I'm kind of happy because I can pay Monty back and send Steve his shit. I can finally get him out of my life for good. There's some really good things about being able to work. I have something to do all day and I'm making a friend or two. Mostly, I hate my job. I really can't stress that enough. But the great thing about crappy jobs is that they pay pretty good. I'll be expecting a chubby check, if my cash pay card ever gets sorted out. | | |
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